Some Thoughts

to be “just friends” with someone you’ve slept with, with someone you’ve been married to for 40+ years… it is bloody hard. No frigging wonder I’m losing my mind. But it is OK… at least I have that.

“Life comes at you in a thousand different forms, and you better be prepared to accept when it comes along. Because if you miss it, the years stretch out forever, bleak and lonely and meaningless.”

Quote from Alaska by James. A. Michener

We gave it a good run, her and I. 42 years counting the dating years. But it’s all over now. 42 years. I’m tempted to say that’s 42 years down the drain but it’s really not. They weren’t all bad years. And we produced 3 wonderful kids who gave us 9 beautiful grandkids. The bad yeras were all my fault. I didn’t know how good I had it. I do now. Tears…

6 thoughts on “Some Thoughts”

  1. Sounds like you still love her. Does she know that you do? Men have a tendency to hide their true feelings because not many of them like to be vulnerable. You’re both still breathing, so there’s hope. Write her a beautiful poem telling her why you love her. Just a suggestion. Your words about it all sounds so kind. Tell her…❤️

    1. Yes she knows. It just doesn’t matter to her. I wish there WAS hope but it seems as if all hope is gone. She doesn’t want anymore poems from me. I’ve written her quite a few over the years. They no longer count.

  2. Maybe she was meant to leave. I know you don’t want to hear that, but I believe in destiny. You are where you’re supposed to be. People come and go in our lives no matter how much we want them to stay. The ones who stay are the ones meant to be. No need in beating yourself up over the mistakes you made with her. Just hold on. The heartache will ease, I promise.❤️

    1. Dunno. I don’t believe in predetermination (I.E. fate). I believe we, or forces affecting us, determine our fate. I wish I could win her back. She says things haven’t changed between us except we no longer have sex. I say EVERYTHING has changed as long as you are in a relationship with someone else. The thought of them having sex apalls me. I have nightmares about it. Damn those tears. There they go again.

      1. That is a really tough place you are in right now. I’m sorry you heart and mind are suffering. If I were magic I’d make everything better for you. All I have to offer is friendship and compassion. ❤️

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