So Angry With God Right Now!

   Weston, age 12

I am a whirlwind of emotions right now and all because of this beautiful bright boy.  Yesterday, apparently he stopped breathing and was flown to our regional children’s hospital where emergency surgery was performed on his head.  They found a tumor pressing on his cerebellum and his heart stopped twice during the surgery.  They got him back both times and is currently in a coma and on a respirator.  They are doing testing right now to determine the extent of the damage, to gauge and quantify his brain activity.  All decisions will be made on the testing occurring this next hour or so.

OMG I’m so angry right now.  This is the time… when something bad happens to a child through no fault of their own that I have a crisis of faith.  I get so angry with God… with whoever or whatever is manipulating the cosmos.  Certainly that poor sweet boy did nothing to deserve this punishment.  His parents and grandparents are good hard working, church going people.  Certainly they did nothing to deserve this despair.  Why does bad things happen to good people?  The age old question…

The family is asking for prayers.  Since last night, they have been calling and posting on FB for all prayer warriors to pray for Weston.  My problem is Melissa a/k/a Mom is posting things like “the doctors aren’t very hopeful” or “not looking good”.  While typing this post, Mom/Melissa just posted “no brain activity on first test.  prayers the next one more positive.”  My analytical brain knows what that means…  How do I continue to pray for what I know can not possibly happen?  How can I stop praying for that miracle?

Dear sweet Weston…  when his Mom and I were really close he was a mere kindergartner.  Growing so fast… or so he was.  I’m too tired to be this angry or sad anymore.  I’ll get some sleep and  maybe by time I awaken, God or others will have executed their plan for Weston.  Hang tough little man….

9 thoughts on “So Angry With God Right Now!”

  1. I never understand the reasons “why” these afflictions tackle young children, there is no answer. The fact that you are able to express your feelings about what happened to Weston at this time is healthy for you. The frustrating part is the question of why! Nothing makes any sense and all one wants is answers.

    My heart goes out to you and your family and there are no words that I can say to make you feel better. Just know, I DO understand, many of us have asked that question WHY so many times . . . and the answer doesn’t come. You are in my prayers. Peace, prayers and comfort being sent your way.

  2. I’m so on the fence with your comment about ‘punishment’, so if i get a little heated in this comment, i pray you understand. “Punishment” is something doled out by others, or yourself, for mis-deeds. It is NOT given by God! Period. God is loving and merciful, and most of all forgiving. no matter what. He allows bad things to happen, to test our faith, not to punish us, or our loved ones…and sometimes Serenity he takes the good ones home, because we need guardian angels just as much as we need him.
    I sincerely believe this, or my hope of seeing my son (deceased) and everyone else i loved…. is a lie.
    Prayers to you to keep you strong. ♥

  3. As of about an hour ago, life support was removed and Weston was allowed to pass away quietly, with all his family around him. Now, slowly, with the help of others, the healing for this family can begin. Go Weston, fly with the other angels!

  4. For believers in Jesus, all our sin—past, present, and future—has already been punished on the cross. As Christians, we will NEVER be punished for sin. That was done once for all. “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). Because of the sacrifice of Christ, God sees only the righteousness of Christ when He looks at us. Our sin has been nailed to the cross with Jesus, and we will never be punished for it. From: https://www.gotquestions.org/God-punish-sin.html

  5. My goodness. Poor little guy. I have the same reaction when bad things happen to small children. I lost a niece at 10 weeks, and held her dead body. I cried to God…Why? Why take this beautiful little baby girl? It just does not ever make sense. I too question my faith at these times. If there is a God, then how/why do all these horrible things happen to precious angel children. My prayers are with you..and Weston’s family. Terrible.

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