Saying Everything

This was a recommendation. I’m not the ” go vent to the world ” type of person because ,well, no one cares. I’m giving this a go to see if it helps with anything because ” Its always good to have someone to talk to”. so a hope that you guys are well prepared to listen to my daily life, but mostly my thoughts. some of it, probably most of it, will depress/aggravate you but I’m not sorry. not everyone can have the same opinions. Not everyone has the same problems. I just need someone to listen I suppose, and in return ( if needed ), ill be your shoulder to cry on, as long as you’re mine.

 

WHERE SHOULD I START? :

I was raised by my father, ( as he likes to say) and my grandparents (as I like to say). My Dad was the type of guy that would throw a steel-toed boot at you for giving him the wrong look. Ass beating on the daily. He is the type of parent that says, ” This hurts me more than it hurts you.” okay Joan Crawford, tell that to my welted ass cheeks. Though my dad was rough on punishments, he was a cool dad, he acted more like a fun uncle though. He had multiple girlfriends, was engaged once, to a woman named… lets call her Samantha. My siblings and I always hated Samantha, she would walk in a room and it would go quiet. We all thought she was the worst woman he could ever marry. We were so fucking wrong. He never married Samantha, he did get back with her on and off, but we saw the last of her in the year 2012. Now that I know what I do, I would take Samantha over his crazy wife any day. She is like the seaweed at the bottom of the lake, you know that its there. you try to avoid it, but that nasty slime still gets on your skin (in my case under it). My dad stopped being my dad in 2012, the same year he met his sea witch (wife). My dad was laid off from his job at a well known car dealership and instead of getting a boring yet steady job, he turned to the only thing ” he knew “, which was selling meth and other drugs. We lived in a two bedroom, single-wide trailer with 12 people ( he let my aunt and her kids live with us.) This trailer was located in scum valley. It had cockroaches, black mold, grass growing through the carpet and to this day, has all of my happiness. my two sisters and brother slept in the dining room. my aunts family slept in one room and my dad had his own. I was 11 years old, and in that trailer, I found out : What the scent of cockroaches smelled like, what sex sounded like. what getting punched in the face felt like and last but not least, I learned what it was to hate, because never before than, had I hated someone. That trailer hold all of the goodness in me, my utter belief that this world was good, that place holds my daddy, it grabbed onto him five years ago, and never let go.

That’s what I’m leaving you guys with today. So you know a bit about me. Feel free to ask any questions.

 

3 thoughts on “Saying Everything”

  1. venting to the world isn’t a bad thing because your story can help someone who is or has gone through exactly what you have. There are people that care and sympathizes with you but you have to come out of that thought of no one cares. I like to tell you that I understand how you feel because I grew up in a single parent household with 11 other siblings and my mom. My dad died when I was 5. my life was hard but I feel i’m the man I meant to be even if I had my dad. I lost my grandma this year and she had a huge hand in my life as she did a lot to help ,y mom raise me and my siblings so I know the impact and affects having a grandparent being there is. So you see by sharing your story I am able to reminisce and reflect on how life has it trials but it also has some great times. Thanks for sharing and look forward to reading more.

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