• Not doing so well today. Actually I haven’t been doing so well. Depression has been a near constant companion and when it’s not depression it’s full blown manic along with spells of psychosis. I can’t go on like […]

  • I’ve been really, really god these past couple of weeks. Ever since the doc upped my risperidal intake to maximum I have been flying normal. Normalcy is not to be underrated when you’ve had the past few months […]

  • I have been having really good days. Despite minor fluctuations, minor diversions from centerline, I have actually been living life for once. I have been smiling. I actually laugh with my wife. Real laughter and […]

  • It’s been a strange sort of day. Been down then up. I am finishing the day on an up beat.

    All told my ups and downs have been very mild. Like the gentle, rolling swells of the ocean on a bright, sunny […]

  • I have never met a mentally disordered person who would not have easily scored in the genius range on an IQ test. I myself easily score in the low 160’s in every test I’ve ever taken. Genius begins at 147. So it […]

  • I am bipolar type II. Not I have bipolar. It is not a disease. It is a disorder and yet it is my life. In addition I have schizo effective disorder, dissociative identity disorder and generalized anxiety […]

  • Good morning world.

    It’s gonna be another good day. I can feel it. Stable and sane are the name of the game. I think the additional risperidal are really paying off. I double checked my script and realized […]

  • It’s been a good day despite being a little unstable. The weather was beautiful, perfect for yard work. I helped my daughter as she cut down all the shrubs along our fenceline. I carried the cut pieces to the […]

  • I’m so hungry. Hungry for love. Lost and alone. I need someone to love me like I used to be loved. But never again. I cannot do it agin. My heart is too raw and bleeding.

    Damn. I am really down. Been there […]

  • Allie,

    I miss you. A lot. As I think of you the tears arise. I sit here rmembering the past and my heart breaks anew.

    I know I have been so weak lately. I have needed you so bad. I am sorry for that. I […]

  • “Sometimes we live a life for others. Sometimes we don’t care enough to live it for ourselves, so we live it for them…. Sometimes that must be enough….

    For our siblings. For our wives and sons and dau […]

  • It is a good morning and I sense that it will be another good day. 3rd one in a row. I am on a roll. Thank You God for these days. I get few enough of them and so I must be thankful for each and every one.

    I […]

  • Spinning out of control.

    They’re watching me. I can smell them in the shadows. I have the lights on yet they are there. There is always shadows. That’s where they hide. The shadows undulate. They writhe with […]

  • Good morning world.

    I ran a little manic last night. Full blown mania not hypomanic. I was running at light speed. I took my sleeping pills and tried to go to sleep. No success so I tried smoking a bowl from […]

  • REJOICE! HE IS STABLE! Lol!

    Not quite. Going a bit insane tonight. Feels like I’m going manic again. Dunno if I’ll be able to sleep but my sleeping pills should help. May God grant that there is no […]

  • Good morning sweet world.

    I have another monstrous headache. It kept me up all night, gobbling Aleve. Never knew Aleve not to work but it hasn’t been for me lately. Tylenol doesn’t work. I am immune to […]

  • I had a talk with my once upon a time wife. No. My wife. Dammit all, she’s still my wife even if she loves another. I will address her as such. She deserves that much until she is my ex-wife.

    So I had a talk […]

  • Well that was good. Cathartic. I took a long ride. Took the Chrysler instead of the Chevelle or the bike because I knew what was coming and that’s the safest. Went out into Salem county. Blazing down empty, […]

  • I AM better today, all things being relative. Monday and Tuesday were really good days. Terrific days. I was stable and centered both days. Today? Not so much. But I will muscle through it. I think I am heading […]

  • Thank you. That is more than enough. I offer the same in return.

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