I live on a fixed income now. I won’t lie about this. THey all convinced me I should be on disability. That I was a hazard to myself and others in the refinery where I worked. SO I did it. I applied for disability and took off work. After 6 months I got approved for disability but not until we had turned over our home and mortgage to my son and moved in with my daughter. Also in that time frame we blew through $25K of my retirement savings when my work stopped paying me. Not all of that went to living. $15K of it went to paying off monthly debts we had such as my hearing aids and my wife’s engagement and wedding bands that I had just bought her. The rest went to living expenses including the new car we had just bought.
So I’m living on $2715/month. Enough to pay our bills but there is little left over after buying food for the household (there’s 9 of us living here which you can imagine runs up quite a food bill)
Now we are getting $5K back from income tax. Our plans, or so I thought, were to put in a heat pump at our place in NC and finish the ceiling on the deck to keep the mud wasps out. That would blow just about the entire $5K.
Now my wife has a better idea. She has enrolled in the motorcycle riding course at our local college. Total cost including equipment is roughly $750. Once she passes that she wants to buy herself a motorcycle to bride in the mountains of NC. She says she wants to ride with me but I sold my bike last year and cannot afford another one right now. I say she is blowing smoke and wants to ride with her ex boyfriend who lives down there and has 2 bikes and whom, BTW, she chats with endlessly. He is supposedly happily married so I am not to be concerned but how happy can his marriage be if he spends every waking moment chatting with my wife? For that matter how happy can our marriage be?
You see we are sleeping in separate beds in the new house when a twin was available. She gave the twin to Bella. When I complained about the separate beds I was told to essentially shut up because it could be separate rooms too. That pretty much takes sex or any kind of physical contact off the table permanently. And we never talk because she is always busy chatting with Lew, her ex boyfriend. Even when she’s not it does not seem like she is interested in talking with me at all.
The long and short of it is I think my marriage is on the rocks and I don’t now what to do about it. She says she wants to go to NC to get away from me. How does she thinks that makes me feel? She was making excuses… saying I had to babysit and so I could not go but when I asked her what they will do when and if we move down there then she owned up to the truth…. she wants/needs to get away from me.
Yeah man. We are on troubled ground. If I tell her that the income tax refund is half mine and I want my half then she will not have enough to buy her motorcycle and I won’t have enough to buy the heat pump. She would surely accuse me of ruining her dreams yet again. So I cannot do that even though a good friend says I should. In fact the friend insists we have to stop blowing my pension like we have been. I agree with her completely. It is all we have to live on once SSDI comes to an end at age 62. That’s when SSI takes over and I am told it will be less than I am getting right now.
Shit man. My life is falling apart around my ears. Or my marriage is anyway. And I don’t know what to do about it.