Journal – Rambling – Oct 12, 2018

I have positional vertigo. I can move my head a certain way and the world flips. Not spins. Flips.

I don’t know if it’s related to that or maybe my vision is just going bad but I find myself drifting to the passenger side of the car. Normally when I drive I stay at left of center but lately I’ve been scaring myself with almost hitting parked cars. I’ve had to swerve to the left to avoid them. I’ve scared my daughter and my wife. I’ll just be driving along when suddenly a parked car or the curb is approaching me.

My daughter and my wife won’t let me drive until I am examined by a doctor. I don’t know what a doctor can do other than laugh at me when I tell him.

Another not too bad. A few tears this morning but that’s becoming par for the course. I miss my wife after all. Depression is mild, no mania, not really anything going on. That’s a good thing. I am numb and that is a blessing.

The darkness is encroaching quickly. It is already getting dark around 6:30 and not light until around 7 AM. I can feel the weight of the darkness pressing in on me. Weighing me down.

My neice is getting married tomorrow. It is an entirely out side wedding. We told her to let us rent a hall but no she had to have the trees and the sunshine. Well tomorrow is supposed to be cloudy with rain all day and all of the trees are down, blown down by the hurricane. Well even so I wish the happy couple happiness. A word of advice for them – always communicate. Not listen but hear. Talk. Tell the truth. Hide nothing. Communication is the cornerstone of a good marriage. Listen to me giving marriage advice when I am separated. What a clown.

Well that’s all folks. Be good and stay strong. Always face the world with a smile. Never refuse a hug. Try for at least one good laugh per day. There is real magic in smiles and hugs and laughter. Let it change your life forever.

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