She is going to NC next week without me again. She is taking her sister, again. I swear her sister gets to go more than I do and I paid for the home. We’re supposed to be moving down there. Gonna trailer the bikes down. But at this rate that will never happen because she will lose her get away if I am there with her all of the time. She says she has to get away from everyone, me included, but not ,of course, including her sister. I swear she hates me. My snoring keeps her up at night so I am going to sleep on the couch while she is here so that she can get some rest. She also says I toss and turn and that keeps her up too. I told her last night that if it was a problem to wake me up and I would go out on the couch. She says she tried to wake me up and all I did was ask her to move over since I was falling out of bed. Whatever. I don’t remember it so she did not succeed in waking me.
Depressions have been horrible. I am having panic attacks every morning and headaches just about every morning. I think I’ve been borderline dissociating again even though there have been no appearances a Dunn, Noahbody or the little girl to the best of my knowledge. At least I haven’t lost much time. A little bit here and there but not enough for it to be one of my alters. I also have not seen the shadow people in quite some time. So there is a plus side to every minus.
Haven’t ridden our bikes in a couple of days. Since moving back to Mary’s home we’ve had to put them in a storage facility because Mary does not have a garage. The down side of that is I can’t just get on the bike and go. Instead I need a ride to the storage place. With her mood today I dare not ask my wife for a ride. Hell, I dare not ask her to pick me up iced tea and smokes. I’ll have to go get them when and if she comes home. Either that or borrow Mary’s car when and if she comes home. Failing both of them I will have to walk to the closest store which is Heritages. Their iced tea isn’t as good as Wawa but if I’m on foot then Wawa is too far to walk. Time was I’d thumb it and count on getting a ride but no one picks up anyone these days. Sad to say. You rarely if ever see hitchhikers anymore.
So I am stuck home alone. Better get used to it. I see a lot of it in my future.
Be good, stay strong, always face the world with a smile and never refuse a hug. Try for at least one good hug/day. There is real life changing magic in smiles, hugs and laughter. Let it change yours.