Journal – March 5, 2018

I am alone today and not good with it. They all had running to do and since I just woke up I couldn’t get ready in time. Can you imagine that? ME? Sleeping too late? Ever since the pdoc scribed trazadone for me last week I have been sleeping until between 7:30 and 8:30 without waking. Even better I have not fallen out of bed.

Depression is all but gone. Panic attacks are gone although I can feel one waiting in the wings today. No shadow people, no dunno. Headaches continue but they have been comparatively mild.

All in all I guess I am in good shape today if I could just get past the loneliness. I have to learn to do that. There will be a lot of that once she starts going to NC again. I still don’t get why I can’t go. I mean it was my money too that bought that place and fixed it up. And my sweat and work that did the sheetrock, tore out the tub in the old bathroom, etc. I’ll grant she did more than her share with the painting and decorating but this is not a competition or so I thought.

We still have to get the heat pump and get it installed. And get some sort of roof on the deck. Errrrr…. ceiling I mean. It has a roof that is open. The mud wasps have a field day with it. Carpenter bees too.

Also have to check the hot water line. If it is still leaking then I’ll have to break down and replace it. Here’s hoping and praying that it’s holding and NOT leaking.

Other than a bunch of trim work that is all that is left to do. She wants to rearrange the kitchen cabinets but that is a big job since it involves moving the sink and dish washer so I am not so keen on it. Yet I know it will end up on my list.

Could used some new tile in the kitchen and dining room. That job is probably too big for me to handle.

Could also use 2 or 3 more air conditioners, window units, but I have to wait for the heat pump since it might do air conditioning too.

Well be good people. Stay strong. Always face the world with a smile. Never refuse a hug. Try for at least on good laugh per day. There is real magic in smiles and hugs and laughter. Let it change your life.

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