Journal – Feb 24, 2018 – Fucked Up Again

I can’t frigging do anything right. She sent me over to the other house to give Don the key. She gave me instructions that she had to take Tianna to stomp practice after I was done. Well Don brought a heating and air conditioning guy in to look at rerunning the duct work. The wanted me there to go through the house with them and approve their plans. So I did. That took a half hour. When I got home she’s all cursing and yelling and screaming at me that she told me to come right home and now Tianna was going to be late. That was not what she said. She said when I was done to come right home because she had to take Tianna. Of course she blames it on my hearing and my disorder. It’s all my fault. She didn’t want to go over there because she did not want to face Don with the condition that Mary and kids left the house in. If she was worried about time then she should have gone herself.

They are at last looking at what needs to be done at least. Still they have not brought the pods for the furniture and boxes so they cannot start work yet. I wonder how long that will take.

Don told me that they took $4300 from the building fund to use as a security deposit on the home we’re staying in. I saw a check for $21000 they paid for temporary housing. Why the deposit could not come out of that I don’t know. Now he is concerned that he will not have enough money to finish the project. Alice says to tell him to forget the airconditioning unit then. Why do I have to tell him that? Why can’t she call the insurance company and get the $4300 back. Or why can’t she talk to Don? She has been the one to do so all along. When and how did that change? Hell, it’s Mary’s house. She should be talking to these people.

I dunno. I fucked up again. Seems like I fuck up everything. So why do they give me more to do with it? Because now that they’ve got it in motion they want to wash their hands of it that’s why. I’m so sorry I even cosigned for the mortgage. That mistake has already cost me 4 grand when she fell behind on her mortgage. Never again let me tell you. And as soon as possible she’s gonna have to remortgage with just herself on the mortgage. After all my pay has been more than cut in half when I went on disability. I’ll never qualify as a cosigner now.

Have a good day. Be good. Stay strong. Always face the world with a smile. Never refuse a hug. Try for at least one good laugh per day. There is real magic in smiles and hugs and laughter. Let it change your life.

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