I miss conversation.

I miss having conversations with the opposite sex. Just conversations about everything and nothing. Conversations to get to know someone.

When I ask my husband about himself…he is suspicious and annoyed. And he doesn’t want to know about me. I get it…he doesn’t know who he is…what he likes and what he doesn’t. He’s always looked to others to tell him.

I’m almost ready to leave. I’ve stayed for him. I wanted him to work through his issues and find a way to love himself…and then me. I had hoped 6 yrs was enough time for him to do so. It hasn’t been.

I feel guilty for feeling like I want to wash my hands clean. If do leave…I don’t ever want to see him again. I just want to be done…free from the negativity.

I’m thankful for this sounding board. I needed to express this and don’t have anyone I can share it with.

2 thoughts on “I miss conversation.”

  1. Listen to what your heart is saying and not your mind.

    I know, this is easy for someone to say that is on the outside looking in and I know full well that wrestling over a life changing decision is often a scary proposition. As Ezways said above, getting the words out is a great first step in trying to put the future in perspective.

    Staying in a dead-end relationship is unproductive at the very least and will ultimately culminate in the self destruction of ones’ sense of self worth. No one deserves that or has to ascribe to such behavior in order to exist. I feel that you are better than that and, from the words you wrote, know that you are and want to elevate yourself beyond what was obviously a bad choice in your life but lack the courage at this time to step away and start anew.

    I’m not trying to be condescending or judgmental here but if you don’t take that first step that your words imply that you want to, you never will or perhaps take that step when it’s too late.

    Just remember, the journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. Don’t be afraid to take that first step if it is what you truly want.

    Follow what’s in your heart.

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